Perceiving the self and others

This week, I evaluated myself as a communicator by learning about my listening style, communication anxiety, and verbal aggressiveness.  I then compared my personal view to that of my mother and a personal friend.  While all three of us scored me the same on my listening style and verbal aggressiveness, I was surprised that both my friend and mom scored me about the same on my communication anxiety.  I scored myself at a 53, which is considered moderate.  My mom and friend scored me at a 35 and 38, which is fairly mild.  I guess this is can be a good thing because I can obviously hide my anxiety.

After reading our text this week, I realized that the thoughts I have about myself are a combination of my self-concept (knowledge of myself), my self-esteem (feelings about myself), and my self-efficacy (prediction of success for myself).  Before reading this, I never really thought about the fact that I do insert my feelings of success into how I view myself.  There are times where I think about my past mistakes or I let insecurities creep in and I starting having bad thoughts about myself.  It is after I think about my accomplishments that I begin to feel better about myself.  That all makes sense now.

Our text also provided another insight about communication this week: “we are more willing to interact in situations where we feel we have strengths, and our self concept is confirmed or changed by responses from others” (O’Hair & Wienmann, 2012, p. 63).  I admit that there are situations where I completely clam up and do not want to talk or I am intimidated and feel very nervous to speak.  This explains why I have these feelings and why there are situations in which I would speak up and some I wouldn't.

Communicating across cultures and groups

This week, I realized that I do communicate differently with people from different groups.  I am rather shy when I meet people, especially adults.  I don’t really have a problem talking to children on a first meeting but I completely clam up when I meet adults.  A little odd but I have always been that way.  When I first meet someone, I do a lot more listening than talking but once I get to know them, I finally open up without any problems.  When it comes to people from different groups, I find that I am more direct and to the point.  By nature, I talk fast but when I communicate with children or people outside of my culture, I tend to slow down and exaggerate my gestures.

                Three strategies I could use to help me communicate more effectively with people from other groups or cultures include: 1) ask questions when I do not understand or when something is unclear, 2) do not pass judgment before listening to what the other person has to say in entirety, 3) be aware of the non-verbal communication I am displaying.  I believe that using these three strategies will help me be a better communicator with people from any group.

TV Communication Assignment

This week's assignment was to watch a television program we do not typically watch, first without sound and then again with sound.  For this assignment, I chose to watch The Mindy Project.  I have never heard of this program so I had no idea what to expect.

When I watched the show without sound, I did not understand the first part of the show.  There were small clips of a girl watching tv, then a teenage girl watching tv, and finally, on to a hospital where there were a group of doctors or nurses gathered around a patient, talking.  The main character, which I assumed to be Mindy, spots a doctor walking by the room and obviously has a "thing" for him.  Later in the day, they end up in an elevator together where she gets nervous and drops her things.  The elevator gets stuck and they formally introduce themselves.  In the next clip, she is sitting at a table talking to a police woman then within a minute or so, it cuts back to the hospital.  By this point, I am lost.  I have no clue what is going on.  The hospital clip shows the guy Mindy met with another girl then it moves to a scene where the other girl and the guy are getting married.  A few minutes later, she was giving a toast at his wedding.  Evidently, she had too much to drink.  She ended up leaving the wedding on a bicycle and had an accident in which she rode the bicycle into someone's pool.  In the next clip, she was in jail talking to a police officer then a friend came and got her out of jail.  She leaves the jail and rushes back to the hospital where she talks to another doctor.  She looks upset with the other doctor for some reason.  She follows him to the staff lounge where another doctor is sitting on the couch.  They engage in conversation.  The doctor Mindy was originally talking to leaves the room and it seems like the other doctor that was in the room flirts with Mindy.  She doesn't seem interested and she leaves.  In the next clip, Mindy is walking in the hospital talking into her phone.  She goes into her office and talks to a boy and his mom then she is back out to the nurses station, talking to colleagues.  She changes into a new outfit and they seem to be discussing what she is wearing then Mindy ends up in an office, making out with the doctor who was flirting with her earlier. Mindy stops things and they seem to have a disagreement about stopping.  Mindy then ends up on a date with a guy.  The date doesn't seem to go well.  The show ends with Mindy at the two doctors from earlier, sitting in the staff lounge watching tv.

After watching the show with sound, the beginning made a lot more sense.  There is a lot of narration moving from scene to scene.  The show starts by giving a background to Mindy and her infatuation with romantic movies.  Even at a young age, she was quoting romantic comedies while watching them.  The show fast forwards to Mindy's adult life, as she is a doctor at a hospital.  She is working when she spots another doctor going by the room she is doing a consult in.  She finds him attractive and wonders what he is like.  Later in the day, they end up getting stuck on an elevator together, where they spend half an hour getting to know each other.  They date for a few months then have a bad break-up, after he meets another woman at the hospital.  Shortly thereafter, he and the other woman get married.  Mindy gets invited and decides to go.  She makes an embarrassing toast at the wedding after consuming a good amount of alcohol.  She leaves the wedding drunk and rides her bicycle into someone's pool.  She gets arrested for disorderly conduct and public drunkenness.  Her friend bails her out of jail, just in time for her to rush to the hospital after being paged because one of her patients went into labor.  She arrives at the hospital just after one of her colleagues delivers the baby.   They have a discussion about her behavior at the wedding as they are walking to the staff lounge.  Another doctor is in the lounge and the three of them discuss weddings and how single people can feel lonely, especially when attending other people's weddings.  The doctor Mindy started talking to leaves the room.  The other doctor suggests that he and Mindy get physical.  Mindy shoots him down and leaves.  The following day, Mindy is walking into the hospital, talking about changes she is going to make in her life such as being more responsible, getting in shape, and being more serious about dating.  She meets with new clients and then goes out to talk to her co-workers.  She changes into a new "first date" outfit, which is really sparkly.  They discuss her outfit and the doctor who she previously had an argument with, tells her that it is not a good first date outfit and that she should just keep it simple.  The doctor that flirted with her earlier said he liked it and in the next scene, they are in his office making out.  Mindy stops them and talks about how she wants to be more mature and have a real relationship with someone.  Mindy ends up on a first date with a guy, where she seems to be kind of crazy by the questions she is asking and the way she interacts with this guy.  The date does not go well and the show ends with Mindy and the two other doctors back in the staff lounge talking about dating and why it is not as easy as she expects it to be. 

After watching the show with the sound on, the show seemed to make a lot more sense.  I was rather confused by the constant back and forth of the scenes so I never really know exactly what was going on or why the scene was changing when I was not listening to what was going on.

Through this assignment, I realized the importance of using both verbal and non-verbal skills at the same time.  While non-verbal skills are important in communication, effective communication implements both non verbal and verbal simultaneously.  Through both skills, effective communication can take place.

A competent communicator...

 

When asked to think of someone whom I believe to be a competent communicator, I immediately thought of my pastor.  I believe my pastor is an effective communicator for many reasons.  The first is because he is passionate about what he is talking about.  His passion and enthusiasm are obvious even before he begins to speak.  When he does speak, he always seems very well prepared. He seems to know exactly what he is going to say and what direction he wants his words to go.   He has a way of capturing his audience and maintaining everyone’s attention through his words and his actions.  He is definitely not a boring preacher.  The final reason I believe my pastor is an effective communicator is because he is an honest man with integrity.  He will tell you how it is and you always know where he stands.  He does not stand in front of the congregation and babble on about things that are not relevant to our life.  He also doesn’t say one thing and do another.  For those reasons, I believe my pastor is an effective communicator and a respected man in the community. 

I am proud to have Pastor Bill Godair as my pastor.  I would love to have any of the characteristics previously mentioned but the one I would like to model the most is by having the charisma he has.  When he speaks, people really listen to what he has to say.  This is not only true from the podium on Sunday morning or Wednesday night but in general conversation with people in the church as well as the community.

 

Professional Hopes and Goals

One hope I have when I think about working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds is to always make them feel at home.  Whether it be in my classroom or in my home, I want everyone, regardless of their age, race, ethnicity, or sexual orientation, to feel loved and accepted.  I want to bring unity into my community and that can only begin at home.  I am blessed to be a part of a church that is multi-cultural and encompasses this acceptance in their mission so my children are being raised by both myself and our church in a way that is not only accepting of peoples differences but celebrates these differences.  I would love for more families to incorporate this into their home.

The main goal I would like to set for the early childhood field related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice is work with educators and other professionals to help them understand these issues as we have been learning about them over the past eight weeks.  There are certain attitudes and prejudices that could be overcome through education and reflection.  I believe this is one goal that could help change the educational system and specifically the early childhood field because once people understand their own personal bias and prejudice, they can work to better themselves. 

I want to thank all of my colleagues for their support over the past eight weeks.  You guys have been amazing!  Thank you for taking the time to read my blogs and providing feedback.  I look forward to another wonderful eight weeks with you again!!  Best of luck to you in the future.

Welcoming Families from Around the World

For this week’s blog assignment, I am going to imagine that I worked at a child care center in which a new child was enrolling.  For this scenario, we will say that this child and their family recently emigrated from China.  How can I prepare myself and my classroom to welcome my new student and their family to my classroom?

The first thing I would do is take a good look at myself, personally, and evaluate any bias or prejudice I may have toward this family, before I even meet them.  Understanding my personal feelings about them ahead of time is important because I do not want to compromise my relationship with a new child and their family because of some personal opinion or bias.

Once I have done some soul searching,  I would research where they came from, the area in which they lived in while in China.  I would learn as much as I could by looking things up online and reaching out to community resources to gain information about their country, culture, and belief system.

The next thing I would do was to make sure that their culture was represented throughout my classroom.  I would make sure they could see things in the environment that were familiar to them and their culture, as with all of the other cultures represented in my classroom.  I would be sure Chinese food and clothes and baby dolls were in the housekeeping center and that pictures displayed throughout the classroom displayed people from China in real world settings. 

I would also like to do a home visit.  During my home visit, I could get to know the parents and the child on a more personal level in order to help them feel more comfortable once the child begins in my classroom.  I could ask questions about their family, their interests, expectations, and also gain a good understanding of the family dynamics and overall function of the home just by spending time with them.

The last thing I would do is to talk to the class about the new child enrolling.  I would share with them the child’s name and other pertinent information as well as a picture of the child so the other children can put a face with the name.

I believe that each of these preparations will help the child and their family feel  comfortable, in addition to helping me and the rest of the class feel more comfortable.   Doing these preparations are really not that difficult  Taking the time to go the extra mile, really will pay off in the end.

The personal side of bias, prejudice, and oppression

Just before I graduated high school, I began dating a guy several years older than myself.  A few years into our relationship, things were going well.  I ended up getting pregnant and we had our first daughter.  A few months later, we decided to move in together.  Everything went well at first, then I realized that we had completely opposite views of what women were supposed to do and not do.  I grew up in a home where there really wasn’t much difference between my brother and I.  He and I shared household chores such as mowing the grass or cutting wood or changing the oil in the car.  I did not feel any different just because I was a girl.  Unfortunately, this is not how my boyfriend felt.  He made it perfectly clear that a woman was to cook, keep the house clean, and take care of the kids.  This was fine with me in the beginning but I quickly got tired of being told that I couldn’t do things around the house, especially since it was my house.  Needless to say, I did not tolerate this well and our relationship ended, not for this reason but this definitely didn’t help our relationship.

I do not feel like this was an equitable situation because nothing ever seemed fair.  I was constantly being told what I could or couldn’t do just because I was a woman.  I couldn’t take out the trash, or wash the car, or mow the grass because those were a man’s job, even if I had to wait for a man to do them.  I was constantly frustrated because there were things I could do and had time to do but was not allowed to do them.

In order for this incident to be turned into an opportunity for greater equity, his bias toward women needed to change.  I understand that the traditional viewpoint that women belong in the kitchen was what he grew up around, but I feel like now times have changed.  There are many things that women can do just as well as men.  Until he could accept the fact that women’s roles have changed throughout the years, he would never overcome this bias toward women.  I am amazed at how strong his bias really is when it comes to women.  Our relationship ended 7 years ago and he still feels exactly the same today than he did then.