The personal side of bias, prejudice, and oppression

Just before I graduated high school, I began dating a guy several years older than myself.  A few years into our relationship, things were going well.  I ended up getting pregnant and we had our first daughter.  A few months later, we decided to move in together.  Everything went well at first, then I realized that we had completely opposite views of what women were supposed to do and not do.  I grew up in a home where there really wasn’t much difference between my brother and I.  He and I shared household chores such as mowing the grass or cutting wood or changing the oil in the car.  I did not feel any different just because I was a girl.  Unfortunately, this is not how my boyfriend felt.  He made it perfectly clear that a woman was to cook, keep the house clean, and take care of the kids.  This was fine with me in the beginning but I quickly got tired of being told that I couldn’t do things around the house, especially since it was my house.  Needless to say, I did not tolerate this well and our relationship ended, not for this reason but this definitely didn’t help our relationship.

I do not feel like this was an equitable situation because nothing ever seemed fair.  I was constantly being told what I could or couldn’t do just because I was a woman.  I couldn’t take out the trash, or wash the car, or mow the grass because those were a man’s job, even if I had to wait for a man to do them.  I was constantly frustrated because there were things I could do and had time to do but was not allowed to do them.

In order for this incident to be turned into an opportunity for greater equity, his bias toward women needed to change.  I understand that the traditional viewpoint that women belong in the kitchen was what he grew up around, but I feel like now times have changed.  There are many things that women can do just as well as men.  Until he could accept the fact that women’s roles have changed throughout the years, he would never overcome this bias toward women.  I am amazed at how strong his bias really is when it comes to women.  Our relationship ended 7 years ago and he still feels exactly the same today than he did then.